


It Shouldn't Have Been Me (DISCONTINUED)

by UndercoverSloth



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Angst, Avengers Tower, Canon Divergence, Canon Relationships, Canon Rewrite, Canon-Typical Violence, Dimension Travel, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Fix-It, Fix-It of Sorts, Gen, How is this not a tag, Hurt/Comfort, Living with the Avengers, MC/OC is not a Fan, Mental Health Issues, My First Work in This Fandom, No OC/Canon Character, No Slash, Non-typical Self-Insert, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Slow Build, Spoilers, Swearing, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, long fic, my first work ever really
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:06:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27673112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UndercoverSloth/pseuds/UndercoverSloth
Summary: Now, let’s make something clear. May didn’t care what happened in this world. She didn’t care what happened to these characters, she didn’t care about their future either. In this crazy, fictional world that she somehow got stuck in its past, she only cared about staying alive and well. Any sane person would stay the hell away from the main characters and the plot if they wanted a peaceful life in this world. Even if she didn’t remember the movies (which she sawonce) to their finest detail, she was smart enough not to meddle in with the Avengers' business.Hell, she would be on the other side of the planet -if she physically could.Until one day, an unfortunate chain of events puts May in the most dreaded position, a victim of a villian attack. Perfect chance to be saved by the hero, and also to be tangled in their mess.Just fantastic.-DISCONTINUED-
Comments: 19
Kudos: 39





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and welcome to my fic ! 
> 
> I have been wanting to read something like this for the longest time, and now here we are. Mostly posting to motivate myself to write more.
> 
> Would be nice to have other people like it, tho ( ´ ▽ ` )  
>   
> 

May blinked a few times, unable to see the screen of her phone with her blurry vision. She managed to make out the numbers after a while, 12.30 pm. That meant her shift ended half an hour ago. 

  
  


She groaned as she stretched, her back cracking. The desk was full of patient files she had been filling. It was the end of a 30-hour shift and it was the worst one she had seen so far. As a junior resident in trauma surgery, she was used to long shifts, sleepless nights and emergency patients. But this morning, towards the end of her shift, the hospital's emergency department was crammed with one injured patient after another. She only found time for a quick 20-minute nap, and she hadn't eaten for some time now. 

  
  


_God, I want to sleep,_ she thought. 

  
  


And she would have, as the incoming patients were subdued for now, if there weren't the files of the patients to fill. Hospitals had a strict policy which doctors and nurses had to notify every procedure that was done on the patients. Of course, it made sense to enter the records hastily, earlier the better... May just wished she hadn't been so tired to do it.

It was certain for anyone who would take a look on her face that she was tired, for she had this worn out, blank - almost dead - expression. Not that she was sunshine and rainbows on normal days.

Many strands had declared their freedom from her ponytail, falling on her shoulders. Her loose bangs were touching the top of her round glasses, strands were black and straight as a leek. Exhaustion of the last day could be seen under her dark brown eyes, or was it _days_ now? 

  
  


_Well, this is the best people can get after all I've been through_ , she thought with her inner voice. God, even that was monotonous.

  
  


She sighed and dropped the pen on the desk. The room was lit by a single desk lamp and dark around the corners. It was a small resting room for the residents, many coats and scrubs could be seen on the hangers. Medical books and files were scattered on the desks and any available surface. There were a few sofas to rest on as well.

Looking at the room, May considered to sleep there for a while, and then go home, but quickly dismissed the thought. She didn’t want to stay there any longer.

  
  


Peeling herself from the chair, she noticed that her hands were slightly shaking, probably because of low blood sugar. It was the most plausible reason, thinking that her last meal was roughly 8 hours ago. Or maybe the reason for the trembling was the 7 cups of coffee, who knew. 

  
  


_Food and then sleep_ , she thought and glanced at her stained scrubs, by God knows how many people's body fluids. She could imagine what her mother would have said. 

  
  


**'Keep yourself clean, you need to keep your image as a doctor.'**

  
  


No way. She wasn't even sure if she could bring herself to take them off before diving into bed.

  
  


Untangling her stethoscope from her neck and carefully putting it in her backpack, she packed up her stuff with leisure movements and wore her coat. It was getting chilly, even if winter was still months away.

  
  


She looked around as she got out of the room. There wasn't anyone around in the corridor, but distant noises of machines and sounds of people could be heard from the left side. She took a right where the vending machine was instead. Ripping the snack open as soon as she got it, she walked straight to the back door of the hospital. She didn't want to encounter more people, or worse, to be called in again for an emergency. The back door was a garbage disposal door for the medical waste trucks, and it was usually free of people. The perfect way out, without any hassle of human contact. 

  
  


_Why do I feel guilty, like I'm running away from work?_

She got out in the open street, her breath rising like a white cloud. The wind had the smell of soft rain, fog was starting to set, and May started to consider carrying an umbrella from now on.

  
  


In a haze, she ate her snack with robotic movements, not thinking about anything but the warmth of her bed. Her eyes on the pavement, and a granola bar in her hand, she walked as fast as she could to make up for her short legs. Her petite physique was another reason why she was known in the hospital. 

The primary reason was, well, she was pretty young among other doctors. Among _anyone_ that had a job in the hospital, really. Not mentally, but psychically. If only they knew. _Maybe then they would stop talking._

Even then, she looked small for her age. Like a kid, barely a teenager. It was needless to say this was an everyday problem for May, most patients didn't even believe she was a doctor at first, so she ended up having many annoying conversations daily. 

  
  


She kept walking with unfeeling feet. Her feet felt like they were sliding on the floor and heavy as rocks at the same time. The street she was on was a one way road with buildings in varying shades of red, not as big as the ones in Downtown Manhattan, little shops aligned underneath.

Her nose was starting to go numb and her glasses were fogged with every breath, while her body gave a little shake. Maybe wearing a scarf would be wise tomorrow.

  
  


May realized that something was wrong, approximately in fifteen minutes after leaving the hospital. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, only knew it was something important.

_Oh right._

It was too silent. 

  
  


There was no one around in the street, on this usually crowded day, at one of the busiest cities on earth. Not a single human being. The street looked bare with shops closed, without any cars or people in it. It made her feel like standing in a post-apocalyptic world. 

May stopped, looked around to take it all in, and murmured, "What the hell?" 

  
  


When she listened carefully, she could hear distant sirens of police cars, while occasional vibrations shaking the ground. A whooshing sound came from above, like a plane, but she couldn't see the source of it before it flew away.

  
  


Then a large _BOOM_ came across the street, below the ground. A manhole cover shot into the air with the blast. Fire and smoke erupted through the hole, little concrete pieces flying every direction.

May startled, taking quick and faltering steps back, unable to tear her eyes from the scene, trying to get her head around the scene before her eyes. What was left on the street was definitely bigger than a manhole.

  
  


Three seconds later, a man came out within the dark smoke. A man wearing a red-blue uniform, with a one-starred shield at hand. 

  
  


***

  
  


At the hospital, Laura looked around to find her associate May. When her efforts came to naught, she approached a passing nurse. 

  
  


"Have you seen Dr. Smith? She was supposed to be in the staff room," she asked.

  
  


"No, I just saw her getting in, like an hour ago," said the nurse. “Isn't her shift over already ?”

  
  


"Yeah, but she couldn't have gone home because of the-" she stopped mid-sentence. "Did anyone tell her about the lockdown?" 

  
  


"I didn't tell her, but I'm sure Dr. Smith knows. The ER was full of injured patients because of the fight," the nurse said. "And she must have heard the announcement through the intercoms." 

  
  


Laura insisted, "You mean no one told her about the lockdown, directly? "

  
  


The nurse was annoyed. "I didn't feel the need to, why?" 

  
  


Laura sighed, "Look, I'm not blaming you for anything. She’s just... she sometimes zones out, if she is focused on what she is doing and...she may need some things to be emphasized.”

  
  


The nurse's expression seemed as if it couldn't decide whether to laugh or be shocked.

  
  


"I don't think Dr. Smith could be that clueless about her surroundings," said the nurse with a mocking voice. "I _personally_ think she should be capable of noticing an Avengers level fight and a 5-hour-lockdown. You know, to be able to become a doctor at her age." 

  
  


Laura lowered down her voice as she said, "You may not know her, not many people do. But I know what she’s like if she gets too invested in her patients, that girl is gonna be the end of me." She sighed angrily before she continued. 

"There is a huge possibility that she doesn't know about the fight or the lockdown, she could be on her way home." 

She tried to get her phone out of her pocket, panicking.

  
  


The nurse just stared at her. 

  
  


Laura was venting, "Maybe she is around here somewhere or close by, so I can call her to say ' _come get your ass back here'_ ." 

  
  


The nurse was dumbfounded, couldn't speak a word. She just watched the doctor tumbling through her phone, as thoughts and doubt filled her mind. 

  
  


_Is it even possible to be that unaware of one's surroundings and miss this crisis?_

  
  


She watched as the doctor pushed the call button. 

  
  


_But then, that girl was always a bit weird._

  
  


***

  
  


May looked at the man, whose face was _way too_ familiar for her, practically impossible for her not to recognize. Even under all that dirt and burn marks covering his face, this man was Captain America. The man she saw on screens many times years before and occasionally on the news for the last two years. She could feel the adrenaline sweeping her tiredness away, poking her brain to make her leave the street immediately. 

Even then, her mind was racing.

  
  


_Alright, did I miss something here? Is this some kind of drill?_

  
  


May tried to think against the cloud of panic in her head. 

  
  


_But why would they take it this far? Unless this is not planned and...there is a fight._

  
  


Really, it shouldn't have taken this long to figure this out, especially when men in black coats climbed out from the hole to attack Captain America. 

  
  


_There must be ‘a bad guys vs. good guys fight’ in the city. And there must also be a lockdown for the citizens because of the new protocols. That's why there isn't anyone in the streets._

_I'm the only genius out in the street, in this 'Avengers Level' threat_ , she mocked herself. 

  
  


_And I'm right in the middle of it._

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more heads-up:  
> I won't have a consistent posting schedule.  
> I'd like to have one, but...life.


	2. Chapter 2

May blamed her lack of sugar and sleep-deprivement for her slow thinking. An escape plan leisurely came about, which was basically turning around and going through the alleyway she'd just passed. 

  
  


It was her initial instinct to get away from the scene as soon as she saw Captain America, before she even noticed the attackers, she wasn't going to ruin her chances by waiting and getting mingled in his work somehow. 

_How come this was never mentioned in the movies?_ The thought faded as soon as it came, there were more important matters at hand.

  
  


She parted her gaze from the fiery fight and headed further into the alleyway. Behind her, many grunts, several metallic crashes, and yelling reached her ears, with a voice saying, "I've got five here. Iron Man, what's your status?" 

She didn't hear the reply Captain America got and she got far into the alleyway. Her plan was going pretty well until she saw the silhouettes of more black coated men at the end of the narrow passage. 

  
  


_You’ve got to be kidding me._

  
  


May ran back to the street she had just escaped from, she saw a P.O Box and hid behind it. Once again, she was with Captain America and other men. Great. He seemed busy with the last two bad guys, beating them with the edge of his shield, dodging their shots occasionally. 

  
  


May closed her eyes and breathed through her nose. She could hear the others from the alleyway and knew that they were getting closer every second. 

  
  


_Okay, okay. Stay calm_ , she repeated to herself. _It's their fight, not mine. They'll probably ignore me, whoever they are, and fight the big shielded guy._

She paused. 

_Yes. That's exactly how it goes in the movies_ , she thought sarcastically.

  
  


That was probably the worst time for her cell phone to ring, and it did. The ringtone echoed in the street as she scrambled to find it in the depths of her bag, and tried to put it into silent mode before they noticed her.

  
  


_Maybe they didn't hear it while the whole trying to kill each other thing_ , she desperately hoped. 

  
  


Pressing _disconnect_ as soon as she held her phone, she silenced it, and looked around. Beside her stood three men from the alleyway and the wrong ends of their weapons pointed at her. She raised her hands, letting her phone fall on the ground. 

  
  


"I'm just a civilian," she said and lowered her head. "I'm not with the Avengers." 

  
  


They didn't lower their weapons and got closer. She took a quick glimpse at the men, they wore black and dark red coats with visors on their faces, showing no expression. She also noticed the octopus-shaped badges on their shoulders.

_Hydra? Really?_ she thought, one side of her lip curving up nervously. _That's the lamest way to die._

  
  


One of the men put his weapon on her head violently and talked through his comm. "I've got a civilian, we can use a hostage." 

  
  


May felt a sweat drop slide down from her forehead. 

_Right now it must be somewhere between the Winter Soldier and before Age of Ultron. Why something this big is not in the storyline?_ Or maybe it was, but it was just a quick mention, there really was no way for her to remember it after so long.

  
  


"Let her go! " Captain America yelled from a few meters away, walking to their side slowly. He seemed to be done with the other group, they all laid on the ground. Now, he was approaching them with blazing eyes. "This is between you and me." 

  
  


All Hydra men pointed their weapons at him quickly, except one, one that didn't waver and pulled May in front of him, placing his weapon on her head. Her glasses slid to the tip of her nose, almost falling off. With her hands, she gripped the agent's arms around her neck and tried to loosen his tight grip. 

  
  


"We can let her go if you surrender, Captain," the man said in a victorious voice. "She doesn't have to die. Just hand us the shield and get on your knees. "

  
  


Captain America stopped and raised one of his hands slowly. 

  
  


"Alright, just take it easy. I'm putting down my shield," he said and got on his knees, lowering his shield. May watched the scene with unbelieving eyes. 

  
  


_Even if he surrenders, there's no way these men will let me go. These men are HYDRA. They will just kill me and leave with Captain America_ , she thought. 

_Or kill us both._

  
  


The uneasiness inside her turned into fear as the weapon's sharp end was pushed in her scalp. She looked at Captain America, she didn’t understand how things ended up this way at all. 

  
  


_I have to do something...something like a distraction….something….stupid._

  
  


"You cowards!" she said, her voice muffled with the arm around her neck. "You can't take him in a fair fight, can you?"

  
  


Her words seemed to attract some attention. The man behind her squeezed her neck more, saying "Shut up! " as he jabbed his weapon more into her head. It got harder to breathe, she was feeling cold, although her heart was beating fast and strong, and her hands were shaking a little. 

  
  


_I just wanted to go home and sleep. Now look where I am_ , she mocked herself, struggling in her captivator's hands to prolong the distraction. 

_One minute away from my apartment and I’m about to end up dead._

_Maybe everything would finally end._

  
  


After that, all she saw was a blue-red blur hitting the man's head with a cracking sound. 

  
  


"There you have it, my shield," said Captain America with a scowl. "But I'm not surrendering."

  
  


He had used that brief second of distraction to disarm the man holding her. Damn, he was fast. The shield bounced off the man and hit another HYDRA agent, knocking two men out efficiently. 

While he fought the remaining two agents with fast punches and kicks, May managed to slip away from the scene and got on her trembling feet, adjusting her glasses. 

  
  


Captain's shield laid a few meters away from the unconscious Hydra agents, but the Captain seemed to do fine without it. Even with their weapons, it was clear that they were losing the fight. Losing their hostage meant losing their only leverage. 

_Thank God, oh, that was close._

Eventually, there was just one of them standing, disarmed. With a punch, he fell on the ground and grunted, Captain America looked at him from above, eyes warning him to stay on the ground. The man cowered under his gaze and locked his hands behind his head as Captain America kneeled beside the surrendered man. 

  
  


May had taken their fight as an opportunity to search the ground with her eyes for her stuff. She spotted her bag where she was hiding before, near the postbox. Walking to the bag and her phone, she was planning to pack her things and get the hell out of there. As she tucked some of her stuff scattered around in her bag and got up, she took a glance at the fight behind her, just before she left. 

  
  


The HYDRA agent on the ground was struggling under the weight of Captain America's knee. Man on top seemed to ask him questions about some information. 

  
  


"I want to know about one of your bases. Tell me, which one has -" 

  
  


"Hail Hydra!" Suddenly, the HYDRA agent yelled, and pulled out a blade, thrusting it towards Captain America's chest. 

  
  


"Watch out!" May warned involuntarily. 

  
  


Unfortunately, instead of evading the blade like he would, Captain looked at her direction and couldn't react on time. As he rolled to his side, May couldn't see what was happening, except that the man on the ground was unconscious within seconds. 

  
  


And once again, the street was silent. 

  
  


May looked around to see if there were any other threats left, and let out a breath when she didn't find anyone else. She stood there, processing everything that happened, trying to slow her heartbeat just a little bit. The last few minutes, or hours, had been a little too much for her average day, even for someone who was a resident in trauma surgery who lived in Manhattan, in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. 

Calm and collected, that was her usual self. Right now, she felt like life was pushing her limits, the average number of excitements per day was definitely breached. 

  
  


Captain America approached her, walking towards his shield and breathing heavily, so she turned her eyes on him. 

  
  


"Are you okay, Miss?" he asked, propping his shield back in its place. 

  
  


May nodded and said, "Yes, thank you very much, Mr...Captain America." She wasn’t sure about the correct way to address the man.

  
  


"Don't mention it,” he said. ”But I do want to know what you were... doing in the streets." Captain America pointed his index finger at her, his voice judging. "It's very dangerous out here, that's why there's a lockdown. You should get to safety a-, as soon as..., as poss..."

  
  


He stopped and groaned, holding his chest. His shield fell on the ground, cluttering. May hurried to his side. 

  
  


"What happened? What's wrong?" she asked but realized he couldn't breathe enough to answer her. As her doctor manners took over, she carefully made him lay down on the dark asphalt and took her coat off to be able to move freely, leaving her with her scrubs. 

  
  


His eyes were open wide and his mouth was gasping for breath. She checked his pulse, found that it was accelerated, then checked his body for wounds. There were many injuries as he was fighting for some time, but most of them were minor and wouldn't cause his current condition. 

  
  


After a quick examination, she saw a wound, the blade of the HYDRA man from earlier hadn't reached his heart as it was intended, but injured the side of his chest instead. There was a small puncture wound, blood seeping slowly. She quickly pulled her bag to her side, opened it and ripped her stethoscope out.

  
  


"Okay, sir, please stay calm. I'm a doctor." she said. Her voice was calm, after all, this was her natural habitat and what she was good at. "I’m going to listen to your lungs. Try to take a deep breath for me, please. " 

  
  


Captain America gave her an unbelieving look but nodded his head eventually, fumbling through one of his pockets. He took short staggering breaths. She listened to both sides carefully. 

  
  


_Tension Pneumothorax_ , she thought. 

  
  


"Your left lung has collapsed, the blade must have punctured the pleura, the lung membrane," she explained, going through her bag searching for something. "The air goes in through the hole but can't get out. It's building up the pressure inside." 

  
  


He looked at her in a way that she couldn't decide if he understood her or not. But she continued to talk anyway, thinking it would relax the patient.

May finally found a pen that she disassembled in haste. "I have to decrease the pressure inside. It would be nice if this was sterile but... Anything like a tube will do at the moment. Don't worry. Try to relax," she explained. Uprising pressure inside the chest cavity could cause the main arteries and the heart to be squeezed between other organs, leading to a cardiac arrest. It was a medical emergency, and it had to be dealt with immediately, even without the proper equipment. 

  
  


She tried to get the pen's hollow barrel through a cut on the suit. Finding the right angle and the right place below the clavicle, she pushed the tube hard, a slight crease in her brows. This was harder than the time she had done this with other patients. Pushing harder, she grunted and hit the end of the pen with her palm. _Pssst..._ The trapped air was getting out. Captain took a deep breath, much easier than before, and closed his eyes. While she stabilized the tube and covered the initial hole the blade made with her hands, he talked with a hoarse voice. 

  
  


"Thank you, doctor, I -"

  
  


"Don't talk," May shushed him and then corrected herself. "I mean, please stop talking. You're not okay yet. I just decreased the pressure. You still have a pneumothorax." 

  
  


While having pneumothorax still required medical attention, obviously, but it was better than having tension pneumothorax. Because it was less likely for the patient to die rapidly. 

  
  


Captain America nodded as he put his head back on the ground. After listening to his heartbeat and his lungs once again, May looked at her blood-stained hands, they were still slightly shaking. 

  
  


_We need to get some help here._

  
  


"Do you have a way to call some help? Like, an ambulance? Or another Avenger... someone like that?" she asked, looking around to see if any of them were close. She kept one hand on the wound as Captain America took out a small device from his pocket. It looked like a small earphone.

  
  


"Oh, okay. Can you communicate with them through the earpiece?" she said.

  
  


When he nodded, she reached to the communication device with her other hand. "I apologize but I'll have to use this."

  
  


_I hope this won't get me in trouble,_ she thought as she placed the device in her ear _. But this is an emergency after all. He needs to go to a hospital as soon as possible._

_And then I can finally go home, without having to meddle in Avengers' work anymore._

  
  


May pushed the little button on the device to talk.

  
  


"Hello, is anyone there? " she asked with an unsure voice. 

  
  


"Who is this? Where's Captain?" a voice responded frantically. "JARVIS, locate the signal."

  
  


She recognized the voice. _It's Iron Man._ She gathered her thoughts for a few seconds.

  
  


"He's injured and can't talk at the moment," she tried to explain, before some big misunderstanding occurred. 

  
  


"Uh - hello, am I talking to the evil employee of HYDRA?" Iron man said. "Having a little fun with my tech, snooping into the group chat, are we now?" 

_Here it is, a big misunderstanding._

  
  
  



	3. Chapter 3

_Here it is, a big misunderstanding._

"No, Sir. I am not from HYD—" 

"What, did I interrupt your little monologue of villainy and—you know—you threatening us to retreat so we can have our soldier boy back? Of course, it will turn out to be a trap, right?" 

"No, Sir, you misunderstood—" 

"Sorry—did I burst your bubble too soon? I can pretend to be scared if you want."

Captain America was watching their conversation on the ground with a questioning brow. 

She tried to be patient, "Please, would you listen, we need your help—" Yet, he interrupted her once again. 

"I will listen to you, your little HYDRA lies, and your plans to conquer the world—if you'd like—when I get there. You better not flee before our session, " said Iron man in his sarcastic manner of his. May never thought it would be this annoying, talking to the man.

She took a deep breath as she felt her patience slipping through her hands. "Look, I am a doctor and I am _trying_ to—" she raised her voice. 

"By the way, I'm not discriminating against women—in any way—so I won't have any trouble beating you down." 

Her words were cut in with more and more rambling every time she opened her mouth. She was seriously thinking about throwing the device on the ground and leaving Captain America by himself, suffocating. But then... 

_He is stalling_ , she realized. _He is trying to get here before I threaten to do anything_. 

"You know what," she said, "You will see when you get here, sir." Then she yanked the device out of her ear, sighing. 

She was annoyed, the only sign on her face being the slight downwards angle of her lips. Captain America looked half-amused, half curious, but didn't ask anything as she put the earpiece back in his ear. 

He said, "Stark, I'm fine." under May's disapproving glare, as he was not supposed to talk. “Just finish your side.”

_No, you're not fine,_ May thought angrily. _If I weren't plucking the hole in your thorax right now, you would be back to dying, just like seconds ago. You don't have the luxury of playing the hero._

Captain America closed his eyes and tried to explain the situation a bit more but quietened a moment later. May felt her tense under her hands, and later, heard the sounds of people coming from behind. She thought it was Iron Man at first. _Well, that was fast._

But hearing that there were several people, her heart sank, realizing these people could not be allies. 

_He's in no shape to fight._ She looked at Captain America, his eyes were sharp and ready to do the impossible—or try— anyway. Should she just leave him, in this state, to face them on his own? She couldn't help him in an actual fight, after all. 

Just to make it clear, May didn't have a heroic urge to fight and die for the sake of other people, that was the job of the heroes. No, she definitely didn't have the required high morals for that. She just helped the ones she could and that was enough for her.

_I can't fight those men. I'm no good for myself, or him. I should just leave him and escape. At least I can save myself..._

Her brain showed her the rational choice, pushed her body to get up and run. But for some reason, she couldn't move. Under her hold, Captain America was pushing to get up, her hands and his chest were stained with blood. She wrecked her mind for a way out, looking around frantically. She couldn't see those other people yet, but she knew they would see her at any moment now. 

**'He wouldn't have left you here.'** she heard a familiar voice inside her head. May stiffened.

_Why can't I just go? I'm not a hero. I'm no one in this world,_ she protested.

_I just want to go back home._

She looked at the other side of Captain America, near the bodies of HYDRA agents and their discarded weapons. Looking back at Captain's stained suit and her hands, warm with blood, an idea sparked in her head. 

_I hate myself._

She pushed Captain America back on the ground. "Stay down and play dead. I have a plan," she whispered as she heard them turning around the corner. He looked in her eyes, hesitating to back down. 

"I can't leave you alone with them, you can't fight them on your own," he said quietly. 

May panicked internally when she saw his breath coming out as clear as the day in this cold weather, realizing they would be caught at the first seconds of her plan. 

"Hold your breath as long as you can. I won't fight, I will just try to buy some time until help comes." 

As she finished her words and heard the guns cocking a few meters behind her, she knew they were spotted. She checked on Captain, finding his eyes closed, body limp and his chest still. Guess he gave her plan a chance. He was playing a very convincing imitation of a dead person, too.

_I don't know how long he can hold his breath, especially with that injury._

She didn't turn around to face the bad guys and closed her eyes, as she heard them getting closer. This was the most painful part of her plan.

_Cry, cry, cry, cry, please cry_ , she repeated on the inside. It was essential for her plan, after all. 

Now, if there was anything she hated more than this deadly situation, it was crying in front of people.

_Desperate times_ , she thought grimly. Thankfully the stress and the 'about to be killed a second time in a day' position helped and her eyelashes were wet with tears soon. Before letting the men a few meters behind her do the first move, she gave out a miserable fake cry, sobbing wildly. 

"They killed him !" she cried. "They killed Captain America!"

She peeked between her eyelids, gave a side look to the people behind her. HYDRA agents just stood there, startled, looking at each other. There were three of them, their weapons pointing to the man on the ground.

"How could you do this? He was our hero!" she continued. "He fought with aliens and monsters and saved every single one of your _worthless_ lives!"

She swept her bloody hand over Captain America’s face as if she was caressing him, meanwhile displaying the crimson blood to the men. Her tears were running on her face while she kept one hand on Captain's chest. Her make up would have been ruined, if she wore one. 

"You. Go check on him." said one of the HYDRA agents to the other one. 

Her blood froze with fear as she shook with fake sobs. An agent lowered his weapon as he slowly walked forward, hesitating. At that moment, May slumped down on Captain America’s chest and held him in a weird hug. She got to give it to him, he was not dropping the act, which was impressive thinking the situation was pretty awkward. 

"He's not breathing. His heart is not beating. He has a hole in his chest," she yelled. "Just what else do you want from his DEAD BODY?" 

The agent stopped and looked at the others with an uncertain pose. May stepped up the act as she rocked back and forth holding the man.

_This is so embarrassing_ , _this is so embarrassing_ , she chanted while wailing, "I won't let you defile his corpse. This my duty as a citizen for our hero." Her voice was hoarse after all that yelling.

_I'm not even American_ , she whined in her head. _And I'm not even a fan of Captain America._

The second part of her plan began as she reached for the discarded HYDRA weapon, on the other side of Captain America. She hoped her body was covering the view of her hand, slowly grabbing the weapon's grip. 

Her 'break down' seemed to puzzle the HYDRA agents since they weren't violent until that moment. But naturally, they wouldn't just give up because of a mere civilian. 

"Get away from the body, or you will meet the same end he did," said the man, raising his weapon. "Then you can rejoin with your _beloved_ hero," he added with a mocking voice, his steps closing in. May was somewhat surprised why he didn’t shoot her already. Maybe because she didn’t even remotely look like a threat.

_Good._

Her right hand slid to Captain America's hand, trying to make him take the weapon in his hand. He seemed to understand and grabbed it with as little motion as possible.

Without any warning, her view shifted when she heard a thud. The street wasn't horizontal anymore. Her view was blurry, covered with tears, not so fake anymore. She realized she had been hit on the head. Guess they ran out of patience. _Fuck, it hurts._

She was laying on the ground to her side. A little further away from where she was seconds ago. She tried to get on her elbows, her head spinning. 

May could still see Captain America from where she was. She watched as the agent nudged him with his foot, his weapon still aimed at him. Just as he crouched to check his pulse, a hand gripped his arm and pulled. 

The agent lost his balance and Captain America's fist met with his face. 

It all happened so fast, and the other two agents couldn't respond immediately, a fatal mistake on their behalf. Captain America aimed the weapon in his hand and shot before the others could even start to shoot. 

Watching the gunfight between Captain America, who was laying out in the open, and the last HYDRA agent, who was taking cover behind a bin, May thought this could end very badly. 

_Is no one coming to help? Where is Iron Man when you need him?_

Pushing past the headache, _is it cracked?_ , she struggled to sit and scanned the sky. Not that she could see much without her glasses, but she wouldn't miss a flying red and gold suit. Failing to find it, she lowered her eyes to see a HYDRA agent's weapon just in front of her. She grabbed it, not exactly sure what to do with it, it was like her hands were acting on their own. Her head was throbbing with her every heartbeat. 

Captain America had gotten on his knees at some point, shooting with one hand and holding his chest with the other. The agent behind the bin couldn't find an opening to lean out and shoot with the rapid-fire. Soon, Captain's bullets would run out, and then he was screwed.

On the other hand, she could see where the agent was. She—hypothetically—had a clear shot. The HYDRA agent wasn't even paying attention to her, he was focused on Captain America. The idea sort of formed on its own and she raised her hand, with the weapon. 

_I don't know how this thing works at all_ , she thought. Thinking that her only knowledge about guns came from movies and TV, plus her blurry vision, aiming and pulling the trigger must have been the stupid thing to do. But she did just that. 

First, it was loud.

Second, she had missed dramatically.

The noise made her twitch and she dropped the weapon. The agent was not focusing on Captain America anymore, which was the upside. The downside was, well, she was his new target. He missed a few shots miraculously, while she fought to get up and run with the ground tilting like a boat on the sea. Her feet tangled up with the rush, she fell again, and crawled between the bodies of HYDRA agents, trying to take cover. She felt a heat scalding her leg, _it burns, burns, burns_ , and fought the tears threatening to fill her vision again, fought the throbbing of her leg, fought the exhaustion draining her energy bit by bit. 

Maybe she could rest for a second, just a second on the cold asphalt, to take a breath.

_No, you must keep moving, find somewhere safe._

But she couldn't find it in herself to move or crawl on the oddly comfortable cold asphalt.

Waiting for the shot that would hit her at any moment, she closed her eyes. Except, the gunfire had stopped. She opened her eyes and raised her head to see what happened. Near the garbage bin, Captain America stood with his shield in his hand and the limp body of the HYDRA agent.

_Thank God, thank God, thank God._ She dropped her head back down.

He must've taken the opportunity when she was drawing the attention. Again. Smart guy. And now he was approaching her with a hand on his side, a pained expression on his face. 

"You okay?" he asked, between his sharp breaths. "Did you get shot?"

May assessed the damage, she checked her leg, the burning pain had turned into a pulsing heat and the wound was bleeding. Luckily for her, the bullet had just grazed her. _It will still need stitches._

She covered the wound with a makeshift bandage, made of her ruined scrubs pants. Gonna have to buy a new one.

She also checked her throbbing head, examining through her hair with her fingers. It stung when she found the cut on her scalp, her fingers felt wet with blood although it was not in a worrying amount. It wasn't cracked as she feared. _But I should be careful, in case of concussion._

"For now, it seems so," she answered. 

"But you're bleeding." He pointed with his chin towards her chest, his expression worried. May panicked for a second.

"Oh, these are not mine," she answered looking at her stained scrubs. Thanks to the bodies on the ground and her injuries, her clothes were even filthier than before. Her hands were stained with Captain America's and her blood, she wiped them on the stained scrubs. Only the already dried blood remained.

She could feel the adrenaline disappear as she sat on the ground with her legs on one side. Her breathing gradually slowed. Captain looked at ease as well and lowered on the ground near May to sit with an arm on the side to support his weight, the other still holding his chest. His ragged breathing made May feel angry with herself. She had forgotten about her patient.

"How are you, sir? Is it hard to breathe, like before ?" 

"No, the pen is... uh, the tube is still in place. See?" he said, pointing at his chest. He was close enough for her to see him, but the details were blurry. She touched her face and realized she wasn't wearing her glasses.

"Okay, that is good. Just sit still. I need to check your vitals, " she said looking around. "Do you see my glasses anywhere? I think they fell when..." 

Captain America pointed to a spot behind her and she gratefully put her glasses back in place. Realizing one of the lenses was cracked, _Dammit_ , she sighed. 

_I'll need to change that. I wonder how much it'll cost._

Finding her stethoscope was easy after that, it was close to her, and _Thank God_ it wasn't damaged. Moving was a little hard with her leg and her head, every jolt meant pain in some way but focusing on her patient helped. It was like any other day at the hospital, and another patient to take care of. She listened to Captain's heartbeat and his lungs, checked his pulse and the puncture wound on his chest. His condition hadn't gotten better, expectedly, but it could've been worse. 

"You need medical treatment as soon as possible, but you're not in a critical condition. That's good news," she said and exhaled. Her breath was a white mist as it came out, it reminded her of the cold, her body shivering. Her coat must've been somewhere aroun— _CLANK_

"Why didn't you leave me some, Cap'?" a metallic voice said. "I thought we agreed on this. If it's above the ground, it is mine. You were gonna deal with the rats down there." May froze in her place when she heard the familiar voice. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Dear reader,_   
>  _If you happen to, in one in a million chance, encounter a plothole, please carefully steer away from the hole, and do not look back. This is for your own safety. Thank you._


	4. Chapter 4

Heavy metal steps closed in. Captain America turned to look at Iron Man and gave a little wave with his free hand. "Hey, Tony."

"Wow, you look ready for your nine o’clock date."

"Thanks," Captain didn't bother, "How did the mission go?" he asked.

May had turned her face away from their conversation, looking around. _Where's my coat? And my phone, my bag... I should have left already._

"If you're asking about our friends in the sewers..." Iron Man offered a hand to Captain. "They're having the time of their lives, with Romanov, well, at least the last two of them are."

Captain refused his help with a head shake." I'll stay still here until we are—" he coughed "—ready to return to the tower. Doctor's orders." 

Meanwhile, May was on her feet, wincing with pain and dizziness, and staggering towards her coat. Her trembling lessened after she put it on. She spotted her bag first, then her phone on the other side of the street, near the PO Box. After checking everything was in place in her bag, she went to her phone. It was on the ground, where she had dropped it when those HYDRA men found her. Its screen had a small crack, but it was functioning, nonetheless. 

"Who? Do you mean that girl over there?" she heard Iron Man ask. "Isn't she like—five?"

May checked her call history, remembering someone calling her at the worst moment possible. It was Laura, an ER doctor from the hospital she worked. May had 12 missed calls from her, she couldn't think of a reason why there were so many. 

"Don't be rude, Tony. She is a doctor and actually, she saved my life," Captain objected. "But I guess she _is_ a bit...young." 

"Care to ask the little miss what she was doing here? Out in the streets?" 

"I couldn't get to that part yet, we were under attack, " Captain explained with a small voice. "And I wasn't able to fight but it was her plan that saved us. It was very dangerous though, I'll talk with her later."

May finished gathering her stuff and was ready to leave this street, at last. Her apartment was just around the corner, two buildings away. Just as she was headed in that direction, Iron Man called behind her.

"Hey, miss. What's the hurry?"

May halted and turned around. "Huh?" 

"Where are you going without asking for our autographs?" He had raised his faceplate and his eyes were on her, with one brow lifted and an arrogant smirk. 

His dead, glassy eyes. Staring into space, seeing nothing. Voices talking to him, hands reaching. Too late to save.

May forced her eyes to look elsewhere. That's why she had been avoiding seeing that face, even before she was in this ridiculous world. It made her think of those _damn_ scenes. 

_Stop being so dramatic. Pull yourself together._

May answered before the silence became too long. "No, thank you. I really need to go home." 

His eyes widened, "This is one in a lifetime chance, kid. You're saying no? You know what, fine, it’s your loss." 

"Come on, Tony. Just say what you want to say." 

"I really need to rest, so if you'll excuse me—" May started, starting to turn away. 

Her phone vibrated in her pocket, startling her. She raised one finger to Iron man, "Excuse me," and checked who was calling, missing the puzzled look on his face.

It said 'Dr. Laura Penn - ER' on the screen. 

"Yes? " May answered the call. 

"—calling her again. I don't know wh—May? Are you there?" came Laura's loud voice through the phone. 

"Yes. What is it, Dr. Penn? It's really not a good time right now." 

"Are you okay? Where are you? Did you go out to the streets?" 

"I'm fine. I'm in the street, I am going home." 

" _Oh my God_. May, there are dangerous people out there, come back here _immediately_." 

"Yeah, I noticed," May said. "I'm actually closer to my apartment. I'll just go there." 

"WHAT? Did you see the attackers? Did they see you? Did they do anything to you?" 

"No, no. Uh, yes I saw them but I got saved. By the Avengers." She looked at Captain America on the ground who was listening to the conversation, thanks to Laura's very audible voice , even from his spot on the street, while Iron Man was talking to someone through his comm. 

"What? The Avengers? You mean _the_ Avengers, the superheroes? They saved you? "

May closed her eyes and repressed a sigh. "Yes." She felt like she was going to regret telling her about this. “It’s not that weird, they kind of live in New York.”

"Oh, my—I can't believe it. You are so lucky that they were there. I can't think what would happen if... I'm glad you're okay." 

"Yeah, they took care of them," said May. She really didn't want to go into details. It was probably classified information anyway. She just wanted this conversation to be over soon. It felt so good when her eyes were closed. 

"I'm glad you're safe. We were so worried. We looked everywhere in the hospital." 

Her eyes shot open. "We?" 

"Yeah, I told your chief resident about it, how I couldn't reach you, and he gathered a few personnel to look for you in the building." 

_Oh God, she told him about it._ She couldn't respond. _He is gonna eat me alive._

"I'll just inform him that you're okay," said Laura cheerfully. "You take a rest for now, but when you come back you're gonna have to explain yourself to a few people here." Her voice had an angry mother's tone. 

May decided she would deal with that when the time came. Right now sleeping was her priority, maybe with a sprinkle of painkillers. Her leg felt like it was bitten by a wild dog, and her head... Ugh, she didn't even want to think for a proper comparison. It hurt to think. 

"Okay, thanks for letting me know." The call ended and May looked back at the heroes. Iron Man was done with his talk through the comms and Captain America was watching her with a neutral face. 

"Hey kid, what did you say about your reason for being out again?" asked Iron Man. 

"I didn't say anything about that." 

"Yeah, let's get to that in a minute," he said as he turned to Captain America. "Romanoff said she was done with the sewers. Hawkeye and Redwing are almost finished, they are on their way." 

"Good. Nat learned anything useful?" 

Iron Man threw a look at May's way. " _Ahem_. How about we talk about that later, Cap? It’s kind of an Avengers business." 

"Of course. We'll cover that at the debriefing," Captain said.

Iron Man muttered, "Favorite time of the day." 

"No offense, right? It's not personal," Captain America said to May.

"None taken." _Just wanna get this over with._ "Look, I'm really sorry, but I have to get back home and rest. If you need me about anything, can we do that later? Maybe next week?" May's voice was nice and apologetic, but her face was stoic, her eyes full of annoyance. 

They both looked at each other, they seemed to have a silent argument with their brows and moving mouths. 

"Yeah, I think we can do that," said Captain America after some time. "Just give us your name and a number to contact, and we'll call you for a...meeting about this incident." 

_More like an interrogation._

Iron Man crossed his arms. He didn't seem to like the decision, May guessed, after all she was a witness to this whole commotion and a little suspicious being out in the streets in a lockdown. May could live with that suspicion, however, if she could be in bed as soon as possible, so she took a step to Iron Man.

"My name is May Smith, and....here's my number." She showed her number on her phone, written on the screen, not bothering to tell number by number.

"Alright, I guess that's it. See you next time, Miss Smith," said Captain America with a nod and shook her hands from the ground. "Thank you again for saving my life. I don't know how to repay you." 

"You saved mine too, so we're even. There are no debts." 

_I don't want more things to do with you._

She turned back and walked towards the corner, the one she was so close to turning before, finally being free. It felt like days, not minutes, since she left her work. Her head was full of things she didn't want to think, and her leg needed some care, but she was very close to her apartment and to her bed now. 

_I'll forget about everything that's happened and sleep for the rest of the day,_ she thought. _This has been a weird and an annoying day. No more holdbacks._

According to the unwritten rules of the universe, things didn't go as planned, because she had thought too soon. Just as she turned the corner, she heard someone land on the street. 

"Guys, Hawkeye is shot. We gotta get him out of here, real fast." 

She did recognize the man's voice, but she couldn't remember his name. And Hawkeye, he was that man with the bow and arrows. She couldn't see what was happening and didn't really want to, but it sounded like there was something going on back there.

_It's none of my business. Just keep walking and get in the apartment before anything happens_. May was determined to go to her bed today, and nothing would not stop her. _Hell, I don't even care about the Avengers. Anything can happen to them, see if I give a shit._

Maybe it was the sleep-deprivement or the agonizing headache or the burning leg talking but May really wasn't a fan of the Avengers at the moment. Or the MCU. Or things related to it in general. Not anymore.

"Why didn't you say anything about this— _oh I don't know_ —when it _happened_?" asked Iron Man. 

"You mean a minute ago? I was busy taking down some of the surfacers. Which was _your_ job too," the angry voice said. "We were at the last batch of those damn terrorists when out of nowhere Barton got shot and I had to deal with them _and_ get Barton out of there. "

"Well, if you called for backu—"

"Shut up!" yelled Hawkeye. "I'm fine, okay? It's just a scratch." 

"Is that so? Let me just get you some bandaids then. Maybe a dozen will stop the bleeding," said Iron Man, his words were sarcastic, but his voice cracked with anger. 

"Tony, relax. Let's just take Hawkeye to the Quinjet and get back to the tower," said Captain America. "We'll have the doctors see him as soon as possible." 

"I'm calling in Bruce with the Quinjet…” Iron Man trailed off. And then stopped. “Wait a minute." 

"What?” asked Captain. “Oh." A moment of silence. 

May heard the slamming of metal steps on the asphalt, just behind the corner. She was standing right in front of the entrance of her apartment, her hand on the door handle. When she looked up, she saw Iron Man coming in her way, half running. 

"Excuse me, Miss... uh...Smith? Right? Cap said you were a doctor. Could you come here for a second?" 

May closed her eyes. She wanted to lay down on the floor, hold her knees and whimper. _Why, why, why now, why me, why them?_

_Just say no, you have a right to refuse, right?_ May thought.

**'They need your help. You are a doctor. You can help them this way, just like they help other people,'** said a familiar voice. A distant memory she couldn’t refuse. 

"What's the matter?" she asked as if she didn't know. She started limping after him, letting him lead the way. 

"One of our team members got injured, he's shot." 

May threw him a look behind her cracked glasses that implied _'Another one?'_. 

"If you could just take a look, you know, before our ride gets here... it would be great. I could pay you, if you want. Just name the price." 

Those words made her grit her teeth. _How dare he!_

"Who do you think I am? Do I look like I would bargain over a man's life to you?" she said as her steps quickened, feet pounding on the street, her pain forgotten. Turning the corner, she saw a man lying down and a guy in red kneeling beside him. Captain America was standing next to them, much to May's annoyment, on his feet. 

"I brought your mini doctor back," announced Iron Man. "But you will call her Doctor Smith, " he added after noticing May's glare.

"Who's she? Where did she come from?" asked the guy in red. "What is she even doing out here?" 

_Oh, yes. His name is Falcon._

"We didn't get to that part yet." 

"What happened? Look at her. She is injured. Shouldn't we bring _her_ to a doctor instead? "

May ignored the man, focusing on her new patient. Hawkeye seemed to have a couple of minor injuries, a little bruise, a few scratches... The main problem was on his shoulder, a possible firearm injury. The blood was seeping slowly from the wound, but hard to see behind the leathery suit. 

"Alright Mr. Hawkeye, I'm gonna have to ask you to stay still. We need to remove your suit so I can see it clearly, okay?" May said as she struggled to rip the fabric. It was hard with shaky hands and without any scissors. A pair of hands got into her vision and did the job for her. She looked up and stared at Captain America. 

"Thank you," she said. "Now please get back on the floor and do _not_ strain yourself. " 

This man really didn’t take this thing seriously.

Hawkeye gave out a weak laugh. "Captain just got lectured by the mini doctor. _Hah_." He looked fine, well, besides the grunting. 

"Please stop talking," she said. 

"Yes, ma'am." 

She opened her bag and got her stethoscope out once again. "I'm afraid what I can do without any equipment is limited. You should get him to a hospital as soon as possible," she said as she listened to his heart and lungs. "Your lung doesn't sound like it's punctured, but if you feel shortness in your breath, let me know, okay? Do you have a clean cloth?" May asked behind without looking. 

"No, we don't," said Falcon. 

It seemed her best option was the spare scrubs in her bag. She meant to change her clothes today but couldn't find the time until her shift was over. After that, it seemed meaningless to change anyway. She pulled her green scrub out and pushed it onto the wound, much to Hawkeye's displeasure. After cleaning the excess blood, she took a look at the hole. It was shallow and the speed of the blood flow wasn't much. There wasn't an exit wound in the back either.

"It looks like it didn't hit a major artery," she commented mostly to herself and pushed the scrubs back on the wound. "Now, I want you to move your fingers... okay, now touch the tips like this. Alright, now I'm going to put my finger on some places on your arm and you're going to tell me if you feel it or not, okay? " 

After a quick neural examination, May decided there was no major damage to the nerves. As she lifted her head to announce her opinion, she realized someone had joined them while she was focused on Hawkeye.

"How are you doing down there, soldier?" asked a woman in a black suit to the man on the ground. She had a hint of a smile on her face, but it couldn't hide her concern. May knew the red-haired woman and wished she had noticed her before. May held the throbbing part of her head, feeling the dried blood.

Hawkeye replied from the ground. "Doctor says I'm doing great."

"I didn't say that," corrected May. "I said you needed proper medical care."

"Ah, Dr. Smith," said Black Widow like she had just noticed her. "I didn't know it was you. How are you doing these days?" 

May thought of many different comebacks. Most of them weren't polite, given her day and her condition. Also, she and Black Widow had met under poor conditions in the past, so May wasn't really a fan of her. She wasn't a fan of anyone, but this woman simply knew too much about May and her identity. More than she wanted anyone to know.

She decided on a brief answer. "Fine."

"Do you know each other?" asked curiously Captain America, looking at them.

Black Widow started, " Well, let's just say—" 

May raised her voice. "How long will it take until your _ride_ gets here? There are two people here who need a hospital and —very likely—a surgery." She shifted her leg's position, it hurt to kneel for a long time.

The sound of an engine and the landing of a heavy vehicle answered her question.

"Our 'ride' is here. Okay everyone, our job is done for today, let's go home," said Iron Man gleefully. May looked over her shoulder and saw the plane-thingy they called the Quinjet. The back part of it opened and revealed a man rushing with a gurney.

"How's he? " asked the man. May looked at the team member who she also remembered as the Hulk. Right now though, he seemed to adopt the role of a medical personnel. He didn't bother with introductions.

_Finally, someone is focused on the job._

May quickly gave him the known vitals of Hawkeye and kept her hand steady on his shoulder. Bruce Banner and Falcon helped her to get Hawkeye on the gurney, then wafted it towards the Quinjet. Inside, his makeshift bandage was changed with an actual sterile one, an IV was inserted and his heart was connected to a monitor. While May and Bruce Banner worked in a silent routine, the other team member's got in one by one.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well yes, I am a fan of dialogues. How did you know?


	5. Chapter 5

Captain America had his arm over Falcon, Black Widow was watching May and Bruce Banner work and Iron Man was out of his suit, heading towards the front of the jet. 

"What happened to the Captain, Sa—Falcon?" said Bruce Banner, seeing him being carefully seated in his seat. He and May had just finished working on Hawkeye, who was unconscious. 

"Apparently, some HYDRA goon stabbed him and put a hole in his lung. He says that the girl over there—the doctor—saved his life," said Falcon. "Hence the pen."

"He had a pressure pneumothorax, I managed to turn it into a regular pneumothorax. He should still have a proper examination under professional care," May explained. 

"I see," said Bruce Banner. "Thank you very much for your efforts. Don't worry, the second I got the news I notified our medical team. They will be ready when we arrive, in a few minutes. " He went to check Captain's vitals. 

  
  


Just then, May realized the jet was preparing to lift off. Its back door was closing and engines were starting to get louder. 

"Wait, wait a second. Open the door, please!" called May to the front side. "I'm not coming with you, I need to go home." 

"Don’t get me wrong but…. you're also looking a bit banged up yourself. I really don’t think we should leave you alone like this. You must see a doctor," said Bruce Banner. "We have a medical team at the tower, but if you don't want that...we can drop you at a hospital as soon as we get Hawkeye to the tower."

What?

"No. I don't want to see a doctor. I don't want to go to a hospital. I just want to go home," said May, trying hard to keep her voice even, and walked towards the door. "I'm fine, okay? Please let me out."

The gravity changed direction and May found herself swaying left, to the floor. She managed to grab the wall before she fell down, holding her head. It couldn't have been the hit she took before, could it? Last thing she needed was a concussion. 

_Maybe it's because of dehydration...or low blood sugar. Or maybe I’m just too tired_.

Black Widow was at her side, holding her arm before she knew it. 

May pulled her arm back, "I'm fine, I just need some rest." Her arms and legs felt empty and shaky like she didn't even have muscles. 

  
  


"Of course you are," said Black Widow calmly. "But you are still coming with us. I was planning to arrange a meeting to have a chat with you, Dr. Smith." 

May's face hardened as she pressed her lips. "You can't keep me here against my will," she said, even though she knew Black Widow didn’t give her an option. That stone-like expression and stubborn attitude, those made you feel like you had just one way to go and that was Black Widow’s way. 

May remembered her final moments as well, falling down to her death, sacrificing herself for the soul stone, which felt like it was so long ago—so long that she was momentarily startled to remember it so vividly. 

_Dammit, it's hard to hate someone when you know how they die. It's not fair._

  
  


After a moment of staring into Black Widow's face, "We will just talk,” she demanded. “And as soon as we're done, I'll leave.” Black Widow didn't reply, but May didn't expect her to anyway.

She couldn't gather the strength to resist being accompanied to a seat, one that was across Captain America, and beside Falcon. Bruce Banner stabilized the gurney to the side of the ship and took a seat as well. 

_This is basically kidnapping,_ she complained in her head, meddling with the seat belt with her heavy, rubber fingers. 

_But they are the Avengers, who am I going to file a complaint to?_

  
  


"Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for choosing Stark Airlines, we will be at the Avengers Tower in approximately 5 minutes," announced Iron Man. 

  
  


_After spending all these years avoiding them...I just fell right into their hands._ May couldn't believe her bad luck. _I should have gone home at the first chance. No. I should have never left the hospital._

  
  


In this world, meeting the Avengers might have been the best thing in their life for most people, but for May it didn't mean anything. Actually, she would be better off without seeing their faces at all. She wasn't a fan before she came into this universe and she wasn't a fan now. There weren't any intense feelings against them—it wasn't hatred—she just genuinely didn't care about what they did, and didn't enjoy the attention they brought to wherever they went. 

Where she sat in the jet, she had the chance to check her state. Her hands were stained with a mixture of brown and red, the dried blood. Pants of her scrubs were cut and her skin showed at the knees. The wound on the leg was still covered with the makeshift bandage, throbbing painfully. Her bangs and some loose hair from her pony were in front of her face, and her glasses were cracked. The gash in her head wasn't bleeding anymore, confirming her guess that it was not a major cut. Thankfully. All of her body ached and she felt many bruises forming. 

Okay, May could— _maybe_ —understand why they didn’t let her go home by herself. Looking like a child couldn't have helped, too.

She wasn't sure the cause of the slight tremor of her hands, was it too much coffee, or exhaustion sprinkled with low sugar, or all the events of the day, or maybe it was just the stress of going somewhere she had been even avoiding to look at? 

  
  


She opened her eyes— _when did they close?_ —when someone shook her shoulder.

"Dr. Smith, can you hear me? Are you feeling nauseous?" 

Bruce Banner was standing in front of her face, out of his seat. And the rest of the team was watching them, sans Tony Stark fiddling with the controls as the jet left the ground. 

  
  


"No, I'm fine. I'm just tired," May answered, shaking her head. 

"I heard you took a hit on the head. You might have a concussion. I suggest—"

"Yes, I know. Don't fall asleep until the risk of internal cranial bleeding is eliminated, right? I'm just injured, but I'm still a doctor, okay?" This thing—being handled like a baby—was getting on her nerves.

Black Widow cut in, her tone distant. "Then take your own advice. Let Bruce take a look at you, make sure you are okay."

"Don't touch me," May said. It was hard holding back her harsh tone when everything was just—so downright _irritating_. "I know how bad I'm injured, and I assure you, it's nothing serious. "

"What about the fainting, then? " asked Falcon. "You do that often? "

Was this about just now? "I didn't faint, I am tired and I rested my eyes."

"After a day like this? Miss, you have nerves made of steel," Falcon said. 

  
  


May leaned back on her seat and took a calming breath. It was impossible to explain herself to people when said people didn’t _listen_. She was just getting worked up like this, and she decided she didn't have the energy to try more. The inside of the jet was warmed up significantly, but her hands still shook. She tried to stop her trembling by hugging her bag close to her chest. 

  
  


Iron Man filled the silence in the jet, "Soo, tell me this. What were you doing outside, before meeting with the Captain?"

_God, this again._ They just had to know, didn't they? "I had just finished my shift and I was going home."

"And what world were you living in that _you thought_ it was a good idea to go out in a lockdown?"

"I didn't know there _was_ a lockdown," May said as she looked him in the eye. "I was in and out of surgeries the whole day. I hadn’t heard anything about a lockdown. And when I finally got out, it was too late. I had been walking for a while when I noticed the streets were empty. "

  
  


Black widow quirked an eyebrow. 

"That's not weird at all," Falcon muttered under his breath.

May felt his cheeks heat up a little, even with the cold. 

  
  


Bruce had taken his seat again and asked, "Are you a surgeon, at this age? Sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you, it's just surprising." May was expecting her age to come up sooner or later.

  
  


_Well, about that..._. "I'm a resident. But we still assist in operations."

"You said you were on shift. How long was it? " Bruce asked.

"Thirty hours, I was on call."

  
  


Falcon whistled while Captain America creased his brows.

Black Widow was sitting by her side, seemingly uninterested with their conversation, but May assumed she was analyzing her every word and move. 

  
  


"Well kid, you need some coffee," Iron Man commented from the front. 

May rested her head on the back of her seat and closed her eyes. "That's what I've been drinking for the last 10 hours," she said drowsily. Did being tired make her chatty? Or was it the other way? Surely she didn’t talk this much with people on a regular day.

  
  


_Because for some reason a lot of people decided to get injured on the same night. There were so many people who needed surgeries and on top of all, most were explosives related inj_ —she stopped when the revelation hit—it was _them_. Them and those HYDRA people...their fight ended up causing her horrible day in the hospital. 

"So that's why you fell asleep. Because you were tired," Bruce urged her to continue. 

"Yeah, that's why, " said May. _Is he trying to keep me awake?_

"Anything else we should know?" Bruce said, looking around. "If you aren't going to let me help you, then at least let someone else take a look at you. It won't take long, just let us take you to a hospital." 

  
  


May's heart skipped a beat. "I don't want to go to a hospital," she said, enunciating every word. "It's nothing I can't take care of. Just let me go home."

"She had been shot in the leg too, " said Captain America from his corner. 

  
  


All heads turned to May, excluding Hawkeye who was still unconscious. 

May felt betrayed, for some reason.

"I am not shot. It's just a—it's a graze. It's a superficial wound," May fumbled for words, shooting a glare at Captain. _Even if it was serious, it’s not like I would want your help._

"Wow. Now I understand what you guys feel like when I do that," said Iron Man. 

Bruce Banner scratched the back of his head, not knowing what to do. "No matter the depth of the wound, it should be disinfected at first chance," he said, like he was persuading a child. "You know that as well as I do. Be reasonable."

  
  


May didn't want anyone's hands on her body or lie in a hospital bed. She made it clear that she didn't want any medical treatment. Why were these people so persistent? _Is it something about Americans? Or meddling with others' business is a hobby for the Avengers?_

  
  


"I was going to clean the wound. Disinfect it,” May started. She was tired of explaining herself, her actions, her thoughts, her...

“Then put 3, maybe 4 stitches in, then go to sleep. Take some pills.” She was even tired of thinking about explaining.

“If you didn’t...wouldn't have... kidnapped me..." she trailed off. 

Also, talking took a lot of energy, so did thinking. Resting for a while...that wasn't a bad idea. And then she would continue what she was saying before. The pounding in her head matched her pulse, even that didn't stop her from relaxing and the spreading numbness. 

She didn't notice the long silence following her unfinished sentence. In fact, she was barely aware of what was happening around her anymore. 

  
  


"Is she...? " Sam said. 

Natasha checked May. "Yep, she's out. That was fast. Good job, Bruce. You talked her to sleep." 

"I was trying to keep her awake,” Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose. “I couldn't take a good look at that head injury, and I'm worried it's something serious," he sighed. "I don't understand why she's so stubborn. "

  
  


"Children, am I right? " said Tony. "We got to let someone know she’s with us. Call her parents, probably. JARVIS, search for contact numbers.”

  
  


Natasha scoffed. “You won’t find any numbers, Tony. As far as we know, she doesn’t have any family members.” 

  
  


A few moments of silence. “So you _know_ this girl. Personally or from back from SHIELD?” asked Steve with furrowed brows.

Natasha took a few seconds before answering. “From SHIELD. But I wouldn't call it _knowing_ her, it’s more like we met a few times.”

Tony clapped his hands, turning to Natasha, his eyes serious. “Yeah, let's get to that. Natasha, how much do you know about this girl, and _why_ are we letting her inside the tower, which is a huge security breach, by the way?"

Bruce was wondering about that too. "Was she working with the SHIELD, or...?"

Natasha leaned back and crossed her legs. "Kind of. She was an informer. She first showed up in 2011, with very useful information for S.H.I.E.L.D. "

"Wait, so, she is a _spy_?" asked Sam. "Wasn’t she a doctor? Is it her cover?"

"She's a doctor alright. And a very good one at that, if you haven't noticed already." 

"What do you mean?" Steve asked.

Bruce answered instead of Natasha. "If you think she looks young for a doctor now, what do you think about the time when she got into the med school and passed the exams?" 

A moment of silence followed his words. 

"So, she worked for S.H.I.E.L.D as an informer. What about now? S.H.I.E.L.D is down," asked Steve. 

"We haven't had any contact with her since New York, in 2012. Before that, for a year or less, we tracked her at all times and gave her financial support. In return, she gave us valuable information," Natasha said. "But she refused to share any more information after the attack, and she also didn't want any support. Said she didn't have anything more to say. Naturally, we kept her monitored."

"Naturally," said Sam.

"But we didn't find any organization or group she was tied to. As far as we know, she didn't leak any of our data to a third party either."

  
  


"And where exactly did she get this...information? "said Tony." She doesn't strike me as the type with a lot of connections."

Natasha's face hardened. "I'm sorry, Tony. But that part is classified."

"What! What do you mean classified?” Tony exclaimed.

“It means it is officially stated to be a secret, the only one who knows about it is Fury. And...it means I don’t know what it is either,” she explained grimly.

Tony leaned back in his seat, folded his arms and grinned widely, “Oh, look at you. It's like I don’t even know you anymore.”

Sam was perplexed. “Why is it a secret? All of S.H.I.E.L.D's files went public, there's nothing left to hide," he said. 

"It was under Fury’s orders,” said Natasha. “You wouldn’t find about her in the leaked files, anyway. Her file was never digitalized, she insisted on everything to be on paper only. "

"Alright, I get it, Nat. You had your orders," Steve said. "But how are _we_ going to trust this person and let her in the tower? You gotta give us something." 

  
  


Natasha took a moment to look at May, sleeping with her head leaned to one side. She talked with a controlled strain in her voice. "I’m not saying we can trust her, neither do I. All I can say is...we couldn’t associate her with any hostiles we know, she hasn't done anything suspicious over the last three years and every information she gave us in the past...turned out to be accurate, every single time." 

Then she turned her gaze to the floor, looking almost sulky. “I don’t know anything about her motives. There are many things about her that just—doesn’t make _sense_. I don’t really like this any more than you do.”

Natasha didn't say anything further, and her face implied that further questions about the subject would remain unanswered. Her words gave the team something to think.

  
  


Tony cleared his throat. "As much as I want to get to know this secret spy doctor kid—wow, I never thought I would use those words in the same sentence—we are home people and Barton needs a doctor." 

The team stood up from their seats as Quinjet softly landed on the pad of the Avengers Tower. A team of medical experts was ready on the side, waiting for the hatch to open. Hawkeye groaned as his gurney was pushed towards the ramp of the jet, Bruce and Natasha guiding him to the medical team. Sam helped Steve down the ramp as Tony shut down the systems on the vehicle one by one.

  
  


May woke up to Bruce Banner’s shaking.

"Doctor Smith... Miss Smith. Wake up. We're at the Avengers Tower. You need to get off the jet. Let our medical team take a look at you." He kept his voice low.

  
  


May crooked her eyes open, the jet was empty except her and Bruce. When had she fallen asleep? She still wasn’t fully awake to grasp what he had said—except the last part—but she shook her head and mumbled.

"No doctors. I don't want any doctors."

"Alright, alright," Bruce sighed, weak against this act of stubbornness. "At least let me show you a place you can rest. Natasha said you will be with us for a while."

She let herself be lifted on her legs, but standing up was more challenging than she thought. Somehow, resting for a while made all her body feel worse than before, there was not a single place on her body that didn't ache. She struggled to stand straight as her head throbbed and the world twirled, her legs shaking. Bruce Banner didn't let go of her arm, and called to the outside, "I need another wheelchair here." 

_What an embarrassment._

"No, no, I can walk. Just lead the way." May was humiliated enough for a day.

"You have a thing against wheelchairs too?" Bruce Banner asked.

May didn't have a good answer for that, except her tenacity to not be depending on anyone and anything. Which she knew was not logical, only childish in her state. She had to accept the offer without a word.

Being wheeled inside of the tower was awkward at best, and also a new experience for her. _Sure_ , she had seen it on the screen in movies, she clearly knew where she was. Building looked pretty much the same. But seeing in a movie and in the real world were two different things. Like she had been looking at just one side of a person’s face and that person suddenly turned the other way, the perspective was changed. 

There were brand-new things, too. For example how it smelled like newly furnished furniture, and industrial, like a new car. How the voices of people echoed in the grey halls. 

When they fully left the landing zone with a large elevator and went further into the building, the scenery changed too. Here, glass was decorated on every possible surface. It was on the floor, on the walls, on the _freaking_ elevator floor. Definitely overused. Probably Stark's doing. 

  
  


This made the situation truly real, like a slap in the face.

May was in the Avengers Tower. 

She was known by most of the main characters. 

And Black Widow wanted to have a talk with her—i.e _interrogate_. 

She was in the exact situation she had been striving to avoid for almost three years. 

  
  


_How terrific._

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are these chapters getting longer guys? Or is it just me?


	6. NOTICE

**I'm sorry**. This is not an update for the story.

  
  


I'm very sorry to say that I will **not** be continuing writing this fic.

And since I don't want to lose your wonderful comments (aka my first comments EVER), I won’t be deleting the posted chapters. (also in the slight chance of returning to write it someday)

  
  


As to why I’m dropping this fic...

  
  


**The short answer:**

I bit off more than I could chew. I was _way_ more optimistic than I should have been with this fic’s length. It is my fault and I have learned my lesson. I hope to have smaller and more achievable goals in the future. I apologize to anyone who is disappointed.

  
  


**The long answer:**

I had planned the storyline before I even opened an account (with its beginning, middle and ending) and always made sure I had several chapters written before I posted a new one. As of now, I have 4 edited chapters (approximately 12K words) sitting aside, but I decided not to post them. Because I think posting a story until the exciting parts (or a cliffhanger) and then abandoning it would be worse for the readers, so I decided to drop it when there wouldn't be too big of a disappointment for the people invested in it.

  
  


Main reason is....the story is simply too LONG. It starts after _Winter Soldier_ and covers (or it was going to) all the movies after it, until _Endgame,_ and that's 9 years in the franchise. Just the introduction is +25K words, and I estimated the completed fic to be +200K, which I can _not_ imagine completing. I predicted it would be long, but I didn’t think it would be this long.

  
  


I still love the story and the idea behind it. I had _so much_ planned for this story, and I was looking forward to your reactions. (╥ᆺ╥；)

But with Phase 4 and all the new TV shows coming up, it's obvious that MCU is going to become much bigger and _intense_ and _complicated_. I guess you can say I feel a bit overwhelmed by all of it. Keeping up with the canon is hard. I still hope to read something like this if anyone else writes it.

  
  


There could be another reason...maybe...I wasn't kidding with my username. (ーー;) 

  
  


Anyway! I still plan to write other fics, maybe for this fandom, maybe for other ones—and I will try to be more careful with the length-planning. My first fic was definitely an important learning experience.

  
  


Thank you for your support and understanding! （*´▽｀*）


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